The Cashier Diaries: Episode 2 - The Things Kids say or do at Checkout.

Little Miss Bossy
So, the cutest little girl, about four years old, big mop of curly hair on her head, sits in the shopping cart as her mom unloads. The last two items being a chocolate milk for little Miss Priss and a diet pepsi for mom. Mom opens her bottle just after the little one does, as missy blurts in a loud, completely serious and determined voice: "Mom. mom, don't spill, ok?"  For a second, I was speechless and Mom gave me that resigned look of 'see what I'm dealing with here'. Hilarious. Made my day.

Lights out
Little boy and his Dad are in my line, I had just started ringing their order as, next thing you know it's lights out at the store. Complete power outage, pitchblack dark, all registers down and out, about 3 people in line after the son and dad duo. A power outage is rough as it is in a big store like Target, and though the lights came back on quickly enough, the registers take time to power back up, which makes for a long wait and a bunch of cranky folks. Needless to say, NO baby is happy in the checkout line on any day, but, especially not, when nothing is happening, no beep-beep of the items ringing up, nothing being packed in plastic bags, no tapping the touchpad of the credit card machine...all in all, his mood was headed downhill quickly.
Now, here I witnessed a really interesting phenomenon: All adults involved in this line had one uniform thought: Whatever happens, we gotta keep this little dude happy or ALL of us are going to be very unhappy. There's something about a screaming kid, that just sends shudders down every grown woman and man's (and for that matter, every cashier's) spine. It's one of the most dreaded experiences on both sides of the checkout counter. In unison and almost immediately, all in line as well as me behind the counter, proceeded to make faces, sing, dance, gesture, make baby sounds and even wiggle vegetables like beets and celery in front of the little man's face, animating them with our own voices, just to keep him entertained. It's the moment where every self-respecting adult knows what's good for him/her and happily makes the biggest fool out of themselves, just to prevent the dreaded kiddy-scream. Very funny in retrospect.

Hide and Sneak
As a cashier you have to be aware and at all times ready for the old "hide and sneak". Parents, who desperately try to attempt the impossible, which is to shop in peace WHILE their kids are present, use this trick frequently. They pass the toy section first and give their kids a toy from the toy department, to play with WHILE shopping, in the meantime they move on to browsing other areas of the store, desperately hoping that the toy will keep them busy enough, until they've tried on that pair of astronomically high hooker-heels or figured out what to buy with the $5 gift card they get back when they buy both the His AND Her's KY jelly...
And frankly if you're good, using this technique, may actually allow you to have peace and quiet for a few minutes on the shopping trip. --But make no mistake, those parents who have NO intention to actually buy said toy once it comes time to check out better be a pro at the "hide and sneak"!!  If not, the entire store will erupt with a kiddie-explosion, the likes even the most seasoned cashier dreads and that makes the perfectly-shined Target floors shake all the way down to the LOD's (leader on duty) office...
You better hope the parent knows how to be super stealth about taking that toy AWAY from the kid (and I mean Ninja-style), sneaking it back to the cashier while making the universal "I don't want to buy this but don't let him know that" face, NO WORDS REQUIRED. Every cashier knows what that face looks like, what it means --and boy, if you're the cashier you better be quick on the draw (or the sneak) to hide that darn toy in the strays under the counter, so as to not be the one setting off the kiddie-explosion yourself. Oh the joys of cashier-dom.

The Cashier Diaries - Episode 1 Introducing Stories of a Target Cashier

So, just as we moved back here to Florida, right before the 2011 holiday season, I decided to take the first job that came my way, just to pass the time while finding a "real" job, and to make some money while searching for other opportunities.

Turns out that that first job was a holiday cashier position a the local Super Target store. (It doesn't hurt to get that employee discount either). So I've been doing that for a while and really have gotten a whole new perspective. Being a cashier has taught me many things, that not even my MBA program was able to provide: people are mean, people are nice, people are compassionate, people care, people don't give a shit, people use and abuse the system, people are literally just out to humiliate someone, people are willing to give you the time of day....I guess what I'm trying to say, no other job has given me such an insight into so many different walks of life and personalities, than this little cashier gig.

I see the good, the bad, the funny, the ugly, the nasty, the gross, the cute, the humble, the sad, the hilarious and many other things in between on a daily basis  --and exactly that is what I want to write about a bit here in small little episodes, as I make new experiences.

One thing is for sure, even though most people look at me like I'm crazy, when they hear that I took this job, for so little money and so relatively much work, "but you have a Master's degree" blablabla is the phrase that always rings in my ear. --Let me tell you something, this job has made me friendlier, more sociable, more compassionate, but also more wary of bullcrap, which I hear my fair share of, my greeting and addressing of people has changed and become more refined. I realize, I have a lot to be thankful for, and I take a lot of pride in what I do, as I ALWAYS do, whether it is being a cashier or a manager somewhere. I won't be doing this forever, but while I am, I may as well share some of the experiences that may make you think, giggle, laugh out loud, or sometimes even make you angry or shake your head in disbelief. Just go on that journey with me on occasion, who knows what you might find...