The Cashier Diearies: Episode 5 - Doors Open 8 am

Having now had my share of opening shifts at Target, which means being there just before the store opens at 8am, a few patterns seem to emerge and it is these patterns that I want to talk about today, --and maybe throw out an opinion or two.

First of all, I'm baffled by the idea of people accumulating in front of the store at about 7.45, waiting for the doors to open. The concept really escapes me, because I wonder: 'What on earth do you need so urgently, that it compels you to be in front of a store at the crack of dawn, staring alternately at your own wrist watch and at the hours sign on the door, giving whoever comes to open that door, the dirtiest of looks should they even be a minute behind schedule (determined by said time-piece on your own wrist!)?!

Now, allow me to establish, this is the situation EVERY REGULAR WEEKDAY! As I walk up to the door, I worry on a regular basis that I may be eaten alive by a mop of shopping-hungry customers. This fear of course, has its foundation in the fact that upon flashing proper red and khaki attire, Florida and Target ID, I'm let in through the side door, past the small crowd that has formed in front of the sliding doors.  Every day when I see this scenario, the image of "Shaun of the Dead" pops into my head. In my case though, the zombies are target customers, who crunch bundles of money in their scraggly fists, dragging their feet towards the doors of Super Target, bloodshot-eyes following me as I get to escape into the store before they can get inside. The thought makes me giggle every time I look at the folks by the door in the morning.

Still I'm left to wonder, there are no freebies, the new circular came out on Sunday, we have no early-bird specials and you also don't win a prize if you're the first person in, so what is it that draws people to the stores at this ungodly hour? You could be sleeping, having coffee, watching the news or getting some morning nookie, any number of things you could be doing! --but no, you choose to be waiting in front of a Target store at 8 AM to see our REGULAR EVERY DAY OFFERING. How crazy is that??? I mean really, have the 10 hours that we've been closed for the night deprived you so much that you gotta be back first thing?

Fascinating the whole thing really, but now, let's focus on the stuff people buy when they get here this early. First, there are the two most normal scenarios: Hunger and Emergencies. There's always "bagel-guy", dude in his late 20's has been coming to the store first thing in the morning since the store first opened, and buys 2 bagels. Everyday, NO FAIL. I think if he ever didn't come we'd have to alert the authorities. I don't know if I'm the only one that thinks about this kind of stuff, but this guy, with his two bagels for 99 cents each, spends $13.86 every week, that makes roughly $59 a month and $713 a year. Hell, he may be our best customer, in terms of consistency. I wonder if any of the other cashiers ever do the math on that and better yet, if they treat him accordingly. Out of all of our customers, he may leave more money in our store by getting two bagels a day, than most do all year. Since I thought about that, I have decided to be extra nice to him.

Emergencies can be any number of things including, but not limited to baby formula, band/aids and iodine, bug spray, diapers, tampons and pads, cold medication, laxatives/immodium, anything that ya just can't wait any longer, have to have it, right now. I totally get that. And they never bug me. I have plenty of hand sanitizer at my station to deal with every "bug" a person hands me along with their money, while buying stuff for their ailments. We've all been there...

But then, a pattern has emerged here lately that is both amusing and disturbing at the same time. An overwhelming majority of people, who shop at 8 am, buy UNDERWEAR and SOCKS/Pantyhose. That begs the question, what in the world is the matter with folks' undergarments? Do they not wash clothes? Did they have a potty accident on their way to work? What is the deal? This phenomenon spreads by the way throughout the different demographics, suit guys, blue collar workers, office chicks, track-suit mommies, lawn-and-yard-guys, etc.  And all of them in need of underneath apparel in the 8 o'clock hour???!!! Personal opinion: too lazy to do laundry. Still weird though...

Also, a very popular early morning buy: Scented Candles! Tea-lights, votives, jar candles, Febreze, any sorts of air freshener and scented plugs for the home. Fascinating. Again I try to reason about the thought process of a person, who has got to hurry and get to Target at 8 o'clock in the morning to get some scented candles for the house. "Honey, I have to run, we're all out of scented candles" 'said no-one ever', I'm thinking to myself. Filed that one under weird as well, somewhere in a far corner of my brain.

Interesting this week: Hampers. 8 am, first customer that I had bought a hamper. Again, I'm thinking of the conversation in my head "Honey, I'm sick of all this laundry laying around, I'm gonna go to Target first thing today and get a bigger hamper, so we can store all this dirty laundry. I'll get one big enough so we only have to do laundry every three weeks...I'll buy some underwear too while I'm there so we have enough until we do laundry next..." Laughing out loud (only in my head of course!)...)

Ten Years in the Making

As I sit here writing these lines, I reminisce on a ten-year long uphill-climb that lead me to this day. Today, I received my ten-year green-card in the mail.
I can't help but think about the many roadblocks and defining moments that have marked this journey that wasn't always easy, but somehow seemed to make sense to me or else I wouldn't have put myself through this process.
Here is a collection of little thoughts and moments that pop into my head, every time I think about events small and big that were leading up to this day, today, where I hold this little 'permanent resident card', as it is officially called, in my hands. Contrary to popular belief by the way, it is not actually green.

I got here almost ten years ago now, on August 8th 2002, to start my year at Northwood University West Palm Beach, after having to visit the US embassy in Frankfurt for my visa.  Back then, it was still in its old location in the midst of a residential neighborhood. This was, of course, less than a year after 9/11 and hence security was high. I had to park blocks away from the actual embassy and walked up to the building, finding German military tanks protecting the US embassy and sitting in the middle of the road of this otherwise almost suburban and tranquil neighborhood, right next to the botanical garden. Long lines were moving slowly and controlledly, snaking into the building as it is the famous American way of patience and discipline. I stood in line for about 10 hours that day to submit my paperwork for my 1-year-exchange bachelor's degree program.

Shortly after I arrived in West Palm Beach, and slowly started furnishing my room with regular student-grade furniture from K-Mart and Co, I got myself a little CD radio for my room. When trying to tune the local stations, the first one I found was "Sunny 104.3", a local soft-rock station with a lady called Delilah for a DJ, who would regularly do shout-outs to the Students of Northwood University. I remember feeling welcomed. The first song that played that night was "I'm already there" by LoneStar, sort of a country-pop-ish band from Texas. Every time from that day on, this song would bring me back to that moment, only days after I arrived here. I listened to that song tonight with a feeling of having come full-circle.

Northwood proved stressful the first couple of days. There was the lightning-fast-talking teachers, who were really hard to understand with their American accents at the beginning. And then there was the crazy-stranded-on-a-Caribbean-island-looking dude in my class from the Island of Trinidad. He had such a peculiar accent, always emphasizing the wrong syllable (for my British-English taught ears, anyway), making words sound so different and weird that the first couple of times I heard him talk, I would have sworn up and down, that guy is speaking some weird island language. And then there was the "all-American, sports-team captain-guy, who asked to borrow my pen and then threw it back to me, snarling "Thanks a lot, foreigner." Even though that hurt a little, I quickly dismissed that comment, thinking, obviously he feels threatened by the fact that he heard me speak another language and he never learned one.

I'll never forget Northwood graduation at the Kravis Center. My parents were there, and I was afraid to throw my cap up in the air, as is tradition after the graduation ceremony, worried that I wouldn't find it again, since I wanted to keep it as a souvenir. So I threw it a little, like half a meter or so. It makes me laugh to think back at that. After that I applied for my first work visa, started to work at a BMW/Porsche Dealership and moved into my first ever own place.


To be continued....

The Cashier Diaries: Episode 4 -Concession Stand Gone Full Scale

Those of you who live in the area, know how close our dear Super Target is located to Regal Cinema. Now, we all love the movies, but what we don't like, (that is, besides the astronomical ticket prices of course) are the ridiculous concession-stand prices for a teeny-tiny little box of goobers or a microscopic bag of sour patch kids.

Well, to avoid all that high-priced nonsense, the fashion industry has given us girls a wonderful gift: The HOBO-BAG. It is large enough to fit a king-sized snickers, a full size bag of Haribo and rice crispy snacks for you AND your six movie-loving friends, maybe even a couple of soda bottles --on a real good day even a Starbucks or two (writing this makes me laugh, because I'm so that girl!!!).

But, to get to the point, every self-respecting teenager, little family, even the elderly ladies, stop at Target first and sneak their food into the Regal theater, like good boys and girls. Sometimes, the sequence of items bought screams just so obviously movie-goer, that sometimes I just can't help myself and just ask as I'm ringing them up, "So, what movie are you guys gonna go see?" The reactions are a wide spectrum of hilarious, ranging anywhere from sheepish grins, to downright bragging or just knowingly giggling or flat-out denying their intentions. All of them are equally entertaining, I assure you.

Just the other day I was manning the express check-out as I got to witness first-hand a group of elderly purplish-gray-haired ladies having a hell-of-a-time picking their movie snacks, followed by a proud announcement that they're in a hurry to make the matinee (basically telling me to get my butt in gear). After that they loudly proceeded to sort their loot in the different old-lady-sized handbags right there on my counter, alas, holding up an entire line of impatient express-checker-outers and causing a ruckus all the way to the Target sliding doors. Upon leaving, the silver-hair gang was not only thoroughly pleased with themselves, but still noisily chattering, snickering and hooting. 'Good for them' I thought to myself 'way to have fun in your seventies!'

Then today, I had a group of three of your average wannabe-nerdy kids with the fake glasses and the plat pants or argyle sweaters, buying the following: one orange soda, one Dr. Pepper and (one rebel with) an iced Starbucks coffee drink, three rice crispy snacks, a bag of Doritos, a bag of Twizzlers and a large Hershey bar. You have three guesses!!! They each paid their $3.57 separately, and, as the last one goes to slide their debit card, I couldn't resist."So, what movie are you guys gonna see?" I swear that one was the funniest one yet. The three kids, looked at me, like I just caught them with their hands in the cookie jar. Their squirming was so obvious, I almost had to laugh out loud. It was so freakin' funny. The funky-glassed girls found her composure first and stammered (like she owes me, the target cashier an explanation in the first place) i..i...its OK.... I work there.... the other one looks at her like  'wtf?' and says "Oh my god, shut up, that almost makes it worse". At this point I'm just giggling, assuring them "It's OK, I won't tell, I promise"... I was still giggling when they walked away.

Made my day. There's something really encouraging about folks in the process of having a day filled with fun and guilty pleasure. Brightens your day and the fact that you're there working just a little every time.

The Cashier Diaries: Episode 3 - Beyond his years.

Usually on an average day, after about a half an hour or so at the register, your brain pretty much turns on the auto-pilot and goes on vacation to places anywhere but Target. This is something that happens automatically, just due to the monotony of the job at hand. However, every once in a while a customer manages to bring you back to reality and gets your attention a little either by being funny, witty, unexpected or, as it was in this case thought-provoking. That being said, the customer in question was about 7 years old, freckle-faced and blond-haired and on a shopping-trip with his grandma...

As I am ringing their items, making small-talk with grandma, he seems very lost in thought, staring at the camera eye over my head and then looking intently around the ceiling at the store. As I'm done ringing, he gets my attention and asks: Is that over your head there a camera? I say "yes, that is a camera." "And all the ones on the ceiling and over there on the wall, they are cameras too?" "Yes," I say, "all those are cameras." Nodding knowingly and gravely, he adds, "I guess people steal a lot, that's why you need all those cameras here?!" I try to make it sound positive and harmless and say, "Yes, that's one of the reasons why we have them, but also for safety, to keep our guests and employees safe..." I only half believe what I say, being the cynical grown-up that I am...he picks up on that and adds in a heavy tone and voice way beyond his years... "Yeah, I wish we'd live in a world where we didn't need cameras..." I was blown away and could actually feel my eyebrows shoot up in surprise as I exchange looks with his grandma, and grandma adds "Well, Mason, maybe your generation can change that"....

The kid just nodded that knowing nod from earlier and I thought to myself, 'yes, Mason, I hope you go on to do something amazing, I'm routing for you...'