Memphis, I've lived here for just over two years, and still I can't come to terms with it. The Music City, the City of Barbeque and Southern hospitality... for insiders maybe or visitors, not for someone that wasn't born and raised here, but unfortunately for one reason or another got stuck with living here. I'm what you would call an outsider here, not only am I not from here (being the south), I'm from Europe. In Memphis terms, I might as well be a green or purple alien with telescope eyes and antennas sticking out of my head. I speak other languages, which is already mildly suspicious and threatening to the average redneck. It's not that people are openly hostile or unfriendly to me, it's more like a cautiousness kinda like someone would be with a raccoon that's out in plain daylight and you're not sure if he has rabies or not. In a way open hostility would be better, I'd prefer that, because at least it would be honest. I can live with that.
But being an outsider here can come in many different shapes or forms, such as not being republican, not being baptist, having gay friends... So if you're not churchy or conservative, first thing you'll notice is, it isn't easy to make friends, as a matter of fact, it's damn near impossible. The cause of that is everyone on the inside is in one of these groups. Now, I've always considered myself moderately religious, grew up in a Roman Catholic household. Turns out despite 13 years of religious education in German Schools (it's mandatory there), plenty of church going in my youth, I'm not churchy enough for Southern taste, and then I'm also not the right kind of religion, which previously hadn't occurred to me. I've spent considerable time of my life in Germany, Florida and Boston, yet, I had never had my being catholic be frowned upon, but whaddaya know: It's possible in the South. I was floored when I figured out that I was a minority here.
Now don't get me wrong, whatever makes people happy, I really think everyone should live their lives as they see fit, but please, please do not force Jesus on me, especially, when I've already got him, the fact that you're excessive about it, isn't at all my problem. I'd like to define my own level of involvement, just as I let you define yours, forcing it on me doesn't make me anymore "christian", au contraire -it makes me pissed off at both you AND your religion, and yes, that really is YOUR religion.
Anyways, but it's not just that. It's the vast amount of mismanagement and greed (not at all christian if you ask me) that has brought this city to its knees and that makes this place so upsetting to look at every day. You only have to walk around downtown to see it. The sheer amount of empty, abandoned buildings, storefronts and even landmarks (yes, I'm talking about you, Pyramid) is painful proof of the corruption and bloodsucking that has wiped the life right out of this one time great city that in the past was worth being called the city of music. Now, Memphis mostly sings the Blues and not in a good way either. Elvis would turn in his grave if he knew that the roads he once drove along in his pink Cadillac are now not only crime-ridden but also abandoned, lined by fallen-down buildings and boarded up windows. And we're not talking little shacks either, we're talking, former Grand Hotels, large office buildings, embellished with columns and stucco, sitting there waiting for their slow demise, abandoned. THERE IS NO downtown anymore, because this city and its inhabitants do not even have the self respect to care enough and to maintain the place they live in.
What a ginormous waste. And the buildings they do/did restore, guess what, yes, they're either empty or so ridiculously expensive to rent or buy (condos etc) that most Memphians wouldn't be able to afford them anyways. Not to mention the stigma that by now is attached to "living downtown", that sinful place, where Beale Street and all the drinking and loud music is (the very reason why some of Memphis Tourism is still alive in some parts of town, and don't even talk to me about Elvis, those who know him are a dying generation and not around for longer, that one thing that Memphis had going for itself is slowly but surely on its way out too, and then what, I scream, then what??)
Memphis has officially missed the train. Compared to the now"glorified" suburbs, haven for the "little man", the redneck, the mud-loving, wild-beast hunting, gun-loving slob, the only thing that is worthy of his family is the suburb. And with that, downtown has officially died, because instead of filling all these storefronts, condos and apartments, if necessary at lower rents to establish another downtown , the greed-filled city of Memphis, is smelling the opportunity to make money. They would rather have an empty downtown and cash in on whatever government money they can lay their hands on, because "boohoo we can't get our space rented, poor us", than to breathe some life into that place. I wouldn't be surprised to see a tumbleweed rolling down the street someday. It's a vicious cycle, with the empty buildings you attract homeless people and with them you attract drugs and crime and in the end who wants to live alongside homelessness and drugs and crime. It's a trainwreck...and it makes me so mad I can't see straight. When you see the pictures from the 40's and 50's, the place was hopping, what happened?
(This won't be the last post about this city that I love to hate unfortunately, I can't help but write about my frustration for I might burst if I don't talk about it...)
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